Random Conversation

Edit: Note that the term "shower thought" denotes a random thought that pops into your head when you're doing something mundane or in a moment of reflection, this doesn't have to necessarily occur *in* the shower. This conversation actually took place over instant message while I was on a work break


Me: My random shower thought of the day:

Trevor: "boobs are fun to play with in the shower"?

Me: [implied No.]  So coffee supposedly makes you poop, but cheese makes you constipated. So what happens if you're drinking a cup of coffee and eating a cheese stick at the same time? In my head I imagine there's some kind of epic battle going on in your stomach like some kind of sword fight between cheese and coffee and they're like fighting back and forth and like riposting all over your internal organs.
What if it rips a hole in the fabric of time and space?!
IN YOUR COLON

Trevor: COLON BLACKHOLE

Me: This is why I think coffee and cheese should come with warning labels that they should not be consumed simultaneously.  Otherwise, one day you find yourself with a wormhole in your colon that aliens suddenly pop out of and go "ooh fuck did you eat coffee and cheese at the same time too?"

Trevor: So it would be like that thing from Poltergeist, but in your ass?

Me: Yes. And then you probably have to call some creepy little lady to come and exorcise your colon "Go into the light! All are welcome! Follow the bran muffin!"

sidenote: I did in fact have coffee and a cheesestick this morning at the same time (I didn't dip the cheesestick in the coffee or anything, don't be gross). So far nothing has happened but you never know.. I'm pretty sure that creepy little exorcist lady from Poltergeist is dead in real life so if things start going crazy in my innards I think I'm fucked.