Scent Elves

It's time for another edition of.. Stuff I've Seen while out and about!!




Yes, that's right.. Edward and Bella, side by side. Now if only it was Jacob's Pizza.

Just in case you're on a long road trip, and you want to keep track of your deceased mini-passengers:




Possibly repeats, but in case you haven't seen them:



Careful, that stuff will go right to your head. Don't lose it!




Mmm.. A Puffin in every bite!




The only time this phrase is acceptable.



I'm tempted to get this, and send it to everyone I don't like. After I torture The Bieb by poking him to make him sing.

Ok this last one has so much WIN I almost bought it JUST because I wanted to encourage their marketing dept. to continue to think this way:



SCENT ELVES.

Guilt Wash

Earlier this week I cleaned out the inside of our minivan. I'm the primary driver of it, and between myself and the kids it can get cluttered and crumby. I did a thorough cleaning, even vaccuuming it out. It was beeeutiful. Until I stepped outside of it. Months of road crud means don't ever lean against the outside of the van, your clothes will be a mess. I resolved that the next time I had to get gas, I'd get a car wash.

Last night I had a dream in which I actually stopped to get gas, and the station had this promo going where one customer a day randomly won a discount on their gas. As I was pumping, the pump flashes that I've won a half-price discount (WOOHOO!), but it wants me to swipe my ID, and suddenly I realize that it's LEM's ID we signed up with for their little promotion, and he's not with me, so I can't get the discount, and I was sad. Then I woke up. This is relevant, because when I got in the car this morning to head to work, I was therefore shocked to see my Get Gas Stupid light on.. hadn't I already gotten gas??? Oooh yeah, stupid dream. I forgot to mention the total for my gas in the dream was $89, AFTER the discount. I figure the way gas prices are going, this will probably be accurate in a couple months.

I stopped to get gas, and chose the cheapest, don't-have-to-mortgage-your-house-to-afford car wash they offered. It was the uber basic one, still cost $7. Pumped my gas, and drove around to the back of the station for the car wash.

Some car washes are all automated, where you punch in your receipt number and it wisks you along inside the building. This one you have to wait for the attendant. He came over, and I handed him my receipt. I then thought he would motion me to drive forward to get my tire hooked by the little dragging mechanism they have. WRONG. He then goes over and gets a long scrub brush out of a big soapy bucket of water, and proceeds to start scrubbing the back window and back of the van. No big deal, I thought, it makes sense since the van is sort of flat there so I'm sure the automated swirly brushy thingies can't really get it clean. And then he started on the sides. And the front.

At this point, I'm feeling awkward. Did Basic mean "by hand"?? I quickly note that it's mid-40's temp outside, and although grey and gloomy out not technically raining so at least he's not scrubbing in the rain, or freezing his tush off. He spends a good 5 minutes scrubbing all parts of the van. I'm desperately trying to NOT make eye contact because wow, that job must really suck and I'm feeling rather guilty for even GETTING a car wash because who knew it would force some poor shmuck to scrub my huge minivan by hand.. why do I have a car this big??? He finally gets done and let's me get pulled into what now seems to be the Car Rinse, not car wash. But it didn't end there.

As my car emerged from the other side, he's WAITING THERE for me, squeegie in hand. He then proceeds to squeegie and cloth off as much of the rinse water on my van as possible. Now I feel guilty for not just telling him I'm going to hop on to the freeway in a few minutes and it can air dry so please oh my god STOP trying to get every speck of water off!! And then I'm wondering if the guys that work there draw straws and whoever loses has to work car wash for the day. He finally got done and of COURSE there's a sign that says "Tips welcome" but I never carry cash and I've already paid $7 for this so now I feel guilty because he actually did work marginally hard, and probably makes minimum wage. Great now I feel like an asshole.

p.s. As I started driving on the freeway to work, I was munching on a breakfast of baby carrots, and I got one that had those nasty bitter green ends, so without really thinking I tossed it out my window (it's biodegradeable!). And then I realize there's a cement barrier there, and it's just going to lie on the INNER part of the freeway, so that when some poor woodland creature emerges from the forest on the OTHER side of the road, and attempts to get the carroty morsel, they will get completely SPLATTED by the busy traffic. OH GREAT JOB ME. I blame the Guilt Wash, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Frozen in Time

As you go through your life on this earth, you come in to contact with so many people. Family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and even the people you watch on tv and movies become People You Know.

If you picture your life as a line, then all those other People You Know's lines intersect yours at some point. It could be they run alongside each other for your whole life, or theirs, or maybe they only touch briefly.

During that time when the lines touch, you KNOW something about that other person. It could be what they look like, how they act, what kind of music they are into, shared experiences, etc.
Maybe you watched one season of a show, so for that brief time you "knew" those actors, what they looked like at that time, those characters.

When your lines diverge from each other, what you know about each other may no longer be accurate. That old high school friend may have been a heavy-set person in their youth, but has since gotten more fit and looks very different. You may even have someone else tell you this, but you can't actually update the picture in your brain of that person without actually seeing it. In your head, they are forever remembered a certain way, and until you see them again your brain cannot concretely imagine them any other way.

This can apply to things as trivial as actors you love in a show, when the show ends and you don't see them again for a long time, then suddenly they are there and Oh My God they're OLD! And their hair is different?! They're fat now! When did this all happen?? It just seems like a minute ago they were young. Your brain just got an update on them, and has to process the new information to catalogue it and put it into the little box it keeps for that person. We were just watching the first couple episodes of Dexter last night, and Denise Crosby was on it. She played Tasha Yar in the first season of Star Trek: Next Generation many years ago. I haven't seen her since, so it was very jarring to see her older, with wrinkles and heavier set. Now that's how I'll see her in my mind's eye from this point on.

It can also apply more personally. Someone you know dies, and although you continue on, their line stops. My brother and mother are both dead. They are forever in my head as they were when they were alive. They will never age. They will never change. My brother is forever pulling coins from behind ears, and juggling, and going on enthusiastically about That game or That music. My mother is forever walking in the woods, pointing out nature to me, painting, forever suffering from various health issues. I clearly remember how they looked in death, but my brain rejects that as a temporary state, it wasn't what they REALLY were. They are frozen in time and will not get an "update" in this lifetime.

I don't think having People You Know frozen in time is necessarily a bad thing. It's just something our weird brains do as a way to keep track of stuff. It's a little sad that as you get older, this happens more and more as people drift apart or die. I guess that's just life.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Smells

I've had the discussion before with my husband, where you think about all the human senses (smell, sight, hearing, etc) and do the "what if" game.. What if you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you pick? I always pick sense of smell. I figure basically just means I'd have to pay attention to food expiration dates a lot closer, and suddenly food texture, not taste, would matter (and hopefully I'd lose weight!)

Thinking about that made me ponder what smells I truly love, and would truly miss. Here's a list of my top Favorite Smells, in no particular order. Yes, a bunch are farm-related, too bad... I'm a farm girl at heart. Smells aren't always about something that smells "pretty".. some smells are bridges to a memory or experience that can provoke good or bad feelings. I'm only going to talk about good ones. :)

1. Horse. There is nothing like going horseback riding, brushing down your horse and just smelling HORSIE all day. love it. It says wind in your hair, muscles moving beneath you and Power you are being allowed to guide. Soft whiskered noses that nuzzle you looking for treats, and wild beauty.

2. Leather. No, not leather like you're thinking, you pervs. Whenever I smell leather, I think Saddles. Which leads to #1.

3. Hay. When I was younger, we lived on a farm and grew and baled our own hay. We had a hay loft that we would stuff with bales of hay, which we kids then spent hours playing amongst. My oldest brother would construct hay tunnels that twisted and turned and were awesome. This smell brings all that back. We won't talk about us jumping from the hayloft top beam to the barn floor into the pile of straw there. Right next to the farm equipment.

4. Cut Grass. I love love love the smell of freshly cut grass. It smells so green, and alive, and juicy, and fresh. NATURE IN MY NOSE!!

5. Flowers. To be specific: hyacinths, freesia, star-gazer lilies, lavender, jasmine, and honeysuckle. Like smelling ambrosia.

6. Dead skunk. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. This makes me think of long lonely country roads, where you don't pass a car for miles, but there's always a dead skunk somewhere to tickle your nose hairs.

7. Fresh baked bread and cookies. Fresh baked stuff just smells darn good. It's instant mouth-watering, snag some before it's cool and burn your mouth but so worth it good.

8. Baby shampoo. When you cradle your baby in your arms, place your face against their little head, and just inhale. This smell mingled with BABY smell is just heavenly. Just smelling the shampoo now triggers memories of my children when they were itty bitty. They grow so quickly.

9. Pine trees. I love the smell of pine (I even use Pinesol for mopping). It makes me think of Christmases growing up with live Christmas trees where the smell permeates the entire house by Christmas morning, and quiet pine forests where the only sound is the creaking of the trees in the wind.

10. Cow manure. Nothing says FARM to me more than this smell. It says hot summer days laying in a field listening to wild birds, and falling on my ass trying to ice skate on the neighbor's pond, and hands filled with tiny baby chicks feathers soft as a whisper. This smell makes me homesick for a simpler time when I was younger, had less responsibilities, and could just jump on my horse bareback and ride around like a little hoyden.

What are your favorite smells and why?

When It Rains.. Hey Wait This Is Seattle..

I've come to the conclusion that sometimes life feels like it's in league with the big Hollywood movie production companies. Ever notice how it seems that the SAME type of movies all come out at the SAME time? Like.. oh look.. 4 space movies hitting the big screens, or.. oh ok 3 different CGI movies.. It's like they have little spies in each others' offices, and are leaking what the projects are and they ALL must make the exact same type of movie for some stupid reason. There are, of course, exceptions but it's definately a trend I've noticed over the years.

How, you ask, does this relate to Life? It seems to me in life that things seem to hit in waves, and it seems to be the same TYPE of stuff.

Right now, I've got the following birthdays coming up within the next month and a half: two kids, my son's girlfriend's, my kids' biological dad's birthday and my mother-in-law. I love my kids, and you'd think I'd be a Pro at these birthday things, but boy they are stressful. I don't have a clue how people with multiple births can do it.. even dealing with TWO kids and all their friends in one place all birthday-party-hyped-up is hair-pulling! I've got to remember to send cards for the out of state folks *before* we get on our upcoming cruise, and my mother-in-law's birthday will occur while we're on our upcoming cruise, so I'm sure we'll all have fun celebrating it together... by watching her play in the ship casino *wink*.

I have a good friend in the hospital recovering from surgery (HI WALF!). He sounds like he's on the road to recovery but it's frustrating not being able to go and visit and tease support him during this time. I also have a dear friend back in Ohio that just started going through chemotherapy for lung cancer. And.. yesterday I found out my cousin Teresa who lives on the east coast has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and will be undergoing a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. In all of these situations I am far away, and helpless, and can only send my support and prayers. UGH. I want to be there making casseroles or pet watching, or just HOLDING THEIR HANDS by their bedside as they go through these challenges.

Have you noticed this type of trending in your life, where it seems that everything hits at once, and it's all similar?

Fun with Recycling

Alright I admit I am not a "Green" person. I don't bring my own cloth bags to the grocery store (though I usually do to the library, but that's self serving, I hate it when the mountain of books I get break through the plastic bags), I used disposable diapers with my kids when they were babies, and I don't eat organic free-range vegetables and meat that has volunteered to sacrifice it's life for my carnivorous pleasure.

Until we moved here, I also didn't recycle.

Understand, for years I *thought* about recycling. Every time a visitor would ask if we recycled cans, or one of the kids would come home fresh from a Save The World lesson at school and lay the innocent Guilt Trip of "mommy why don't we recycle"? Truth is, I was lazy. I didn't want to figure out HOW to, I knew there was some other truck that picked up that stuff, but where do I get the container? When do they pick it up? What stuff do I put in there? Bah! I don't have to pay for regular trash pick-up I'm glumping it all together in the regular trash.

When we moved here, I discovered we had to PAY for trash service. BUMMER. You pay a different price depending on the size of the trash can you have. The bigger the can, the more costly. Also, they give you a separate recycle trash can too that's included in the price, that they will pick up every-other week. If your regular trash is overflowing they charge you extra too. See where this is going?

We immediately found with a family of four that we generate enough trash, that we can easily make that medium-sized regular trash can overflow before trash day. Time to start Recycling! I grabbed out their brochure, and typed up two signs to tape above the recycle trash can in the house. DO Recycle and DON'T Recycle. And thus it began.

As time has gone on, I've discovered something. I *LIKE* recycling. There is a certain satisfaction with breaking down food boxes, washing out cans, and definitely with not paying extra for overflowing trash or a larger trash can. Also, it feels GOOD. I like that my kids are seeing us and participating in us recycling. I don't feel guilty anymore about throwing stuff away for it to end up in a landfill somewhere where it oughtn't. It's funny that a decision based solely on saving money ends up being a decision that also makes us feel better about ourselves and our care-taking of this planet.

I'm still going to use plastic bags at the store, though. Where else will I get my lunch bags?