Clash of the Yawns

So we took the kids to see Clash of the Titans today. Deciding that since it was originally made in 2-D, and the extra cost of 3-D, we opted to go for 2-D.

Without giving away major spoilers, I can say the following:

I love Greek and Roman mythology. I went through a phase in my youth where I devoured books about it. This movie raped my childhood. I am, perhaps, a bit harsh, but I'm also coming from a childhood where I grew up watching the original 1981 Clash of the Titans movie. This aint it.

In my opinion, the film makers decided they wanted to make the bad-ass mother of all monsters, the Kraken, and then just kind of fudged a story around that. I was never able to emotionally connect with the hero Perseus (played by the main guy from Avatar). He seemed surly and angry and brooding the entire time and *checks IMDB* yep I thought so his Australian accent creeps in throughout his dialogue making me go where the hell are you supposed to be from again??

In order to drive the plot the filmmakers throw in a bunch of random sketchily described characters that thankfully you never really get attached to since you know they're all monster-fodder for the most part. The hunters are amusing, if albeit a complete mystery as to who they are or why they are even in the city.

The liberties taken with traditional mythology had me grinding my teeth throughout, and a few times I was like WTF seriously? UGH.

The action scenes were for the most part so rapid-paced I feel like I missed half of what was happening. The whole movie felt rushed, thank goodness for the plot device of having someone with them the whole time that "knows the way". What a time saver!

Now.. having said all that, I can tell you it was at least entertaining, esp I'm assuming if you have NO knowledge of the prior movie (psst.. watch for a nod to that movie in this one -- that was awesome!), and NO knowledge of mythology. The kids liked it far more than I did, being less critical.

And, Pegasus rocked. No, seriously. Like.. they did such a good job on him I was in awe. I want him. Did I mention my favorite-ist horse breed in the entire world is Friesians? Now, take one, add REALLY good cgi wings. Yeah.. instant WIN. I admit it, I'm a horse lover so I notice horses in movies. Friesians tend to be used quite a bit since they are so striking, elegant, and have amazing natural action. Lem has told me he'll go back to college for genetic engineering and will find a way to splice wings onto a friesian. He's da man.

If Life Was Like The Matrix *spoilers*

I will be discussing certain plot points from the movie "The Matrix" in this post, so if you haven't seen it, then WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!
Anyway..

Society today is all about instant gratification. We want our food cooked FAST! Even the microwave doesn't cook stuff fast enough. Hate waiting through commercials? DVR that sucker and you can fast forward through them later. I want my tax refund NOW NOW NOOOWW!!

I've often come across situations where I really really wished that life was like the Matrix. No, not the freaky pod-people-as-batteries part, I'm talking about the vast database of knowledge you can plug into your head and INSTANT LEARN. I mean, seriously, is that not the very DEFINITION of instant gratification?! When I start to even try to consider all the stuff I'd want crammed into my brain, I wonder if perhaps the brain has a capacity that I'd reach (yes yes, I know we only use 1/3 or something ridiculous of our brain, but I'm talking MAJOR CRAMMAGE here).

Some of the stuff I'd Jack into:

1. Martial Arts. Yes, ALL of them. I want to be able to defend myself with so many different styles it would be so amazing the bad guys would just stop in their tracks and be like.. "daaammn.."

2. Sign Language Interpreting. I want hardcoded in my brain all the brilliance of my learned collegues, their experience, their skills. You never stop learning in this job..

3. Cooking. I want to be able to know how to scratch cook ANYTHING from ANYTHING. So I could go on Iron Chef and KICK THEIR BUTTS if I wanted to. But I don't. But I *COULD* and that's the point.

4. Financial Planning. If I could learn how to invest wisely, plus capitalize on investments, that would be cool. Then I could buy an island somewhere and lay out in the shade there, drinking fancy girlie-girl drinks with umbrellas and be fanned by a big palm leaf by some scantily-clad cabana boy. Don't worry Lem could have a scantily-clad cabana girl fanning him. I believe in equality in fanning.

5. Gardening. Bring on the green thumbs! I can't even keep a house plant alive right now, I have a feeling if I tried to grow stuff now for food it would turn out like Invasion of the Pod People and try to replace us.

6. Photography. I could actually take a picture that isn't the wrong exposure, or blurry?! And I'd know all about composition, and whatever else photography-smart people know?? Sign me up!

7. Fitness. I'd like to tap into all the fitness trainer knowledge so I could figure out an exercise regime that I'd like and would work and understand the Why's and the How's etc. Floundering around trying to do stuff on your own without knowing what you really need to do kinda sucks.

8. Fashion Designing. I want a direct peek at all those famous designers' minds. Not because I want to do to that line of work, but so I can figure out what the fuck they are thinking designing such messed-up, freaky-assed, pieces of crap that only an anorexic 6 ft tall supermodel could fit into. SERIOUSLY.

9. Piloting. I'd like to know how to fly all kinds of aerocraft.. big planes, little planes, helicopters, etc. If I'm ever on a commercial flight, and the pilot has a heart attack, I want to be able to land that sucker pretty as a picture not like something out of Airplane.

10. Balloon animals. I want to be able to make the Michelangelo of balloon animals. Like.. God will look down and go.. "wow, even *I* couldn't make a balloon palm tree that realistic!"

Yes, I know I could probably learn all this stuff given time, money, and effort. Did you miss the whole "instant gratification" part earlier?? Helloooo.. Yes, I realize that most of these are rather selfish. I don't want to know Doctoring, or Veterinarianing (?), or any other truly altruistic amazing thing that could probably allow me to solve world hunger. I suppose eventually when I'd learned all the really "fun" stuff I'd get to serious stuff like that. Right after I learn how to make bubble wrap.

Del

When It Rains...

Well, technically here in the Seattle area when it rains, it can drizzle, mist, pound, and a million other variations. However as far as the analogy goes, it always seems that in life, a bunch of stuff happens at once. This is actually a silly notion, since things are of course happening all the time, but sometimes if they are bad or stressful, they all seem to pile up at once.

Our daughter has been fighting a chronic bladder infection for almost 2 months now. She's been on multiple antibiotics, cranberry tablets, tried going potty more, and drinking more fluids. It's now spread to her kidneys which is very painful and has caused her to spike some pretty uncomfortable fevers. This latest development hit a couple days ago, she's been x-rayed, is going to have an ultrasound, and is on yet another antibiotic and a laxative to make sure everything is flowing, well.. smoothly. As a parent it's really horrid when your kids are sick and even though you've taken all the steps you can, it's a waiting game to see if medicines, sleep, and time will make the difference. As Indigo said.. I Hate Waiting. Nothing like trying to stay positive and supportive and patient when you're running on little sleep. She's been a super trooper this whole time.

A few nights ago my Uncle Mike passed away. He had been fighting cancer, and is now finally at peace. He'll always be Crazy Uncle Mike to me.. I really haven't associated with him in recent years since he lived in South (?) Carolina, but I remember younger days of playing with my cousins, and him always being a total goofball. He always had a knack for making everyone laugh, just a wicked sense of humor. He and my Aunt Jeannette had a pickup truck and it had a camper on the back. I was always so envious of that camper, I imagined driving cross country and having your own little house with you. That's probably why even to this day I have a total crush on the big luxury campers and plan on owning one someday.

Anyway, that's what's going on right now, and why I've been a little too preoccupied to type out any new entries. I will say we finally saw Julie and Julia, and it was truly a splendid movie. I've always liked Julia Childs, I remember watching her cooking show when I was growing up. I think Meryl Streep did a lovely job of representing her (though to be honest, Meryl is still just a little too pretty for the role). Very satisfying movie.

Keep our girlie in your thoughts and prayers.

Del

Movies, Movies, Movies!

Still enjoying our week-long unlimited Blockbuster pass.. those poor suckers really lost money on us, I tell ya!

Well, we watched Angels & Demons, and (500) Days of Summer the other night.

I've been trying to avoid writing any spoilers here in case any reader hasn't yet watched one of these movies but plans to, so with that in mind, here's my comments about Angels & Demons:

YEAH! WTF?! NOO!!! OH HELL NO!! HA! I KNEW IT! OH COME ON, DAMMIT! GRRRR! YAY!

That, in summary, is the movie. Beautiful cinematography -- master shots blending real life shots, built sets, and CGI goodness. Some predictability with the plot. Some twists. It's like.. National Treasure but with Theology crammed down your throat at every step. 'Nuff said.

(500) Days of Summer: This is a quasi-romantic comedy. NOT a love story. No! STOP! Do NOT IMDB, or Google, or Wikipedia it. Just don't. Go rent it, and watch it with no knowledge of what it's about, or even what the title means. It's quirky. It has many funny spots. It has some sad spots. I wish they would have developed the female character's personality and background better so you can understand her better, but overall I liked it. The one part, that has faux artsy-fartsy black and white subtitled films? Yeah that made me think of my brother Dan's preference for those types of movies and I laughed and laughed at the silliness.

And yes, OMG we traded these in and just got Julie & Julia, will prob watch that if not tonight than tomorrow night.

Del

Gee I.. need some Joe

It's not that I didn't just LOVE the G.I. Joe movie more than life.. it's just that it was.. well.. horribly predictable. I admit I rented this more for my husband than myself. The only thing G.I. Joes are good for, IMO, is sitting on plastic horses. Hey... back in MY day the barbies weren't all bendy.

Pre-movie (me making dinner): Oh boy, I can't wait to see this movie. Cause you know it's all about the hot babe in skin tight armor (I might have said this in a slightly sarcastic tone)

Lem: what? who said there's a hot babe in this movie?

me: there's ALWAYS a hot babe.

*fast forward to movie time* *First 10 minutes of movie... crazy action sequence.. oh look, hot babe in skit-tight cleavage-revealing leather outfit*

me (to Lem): You can hear me saying it, can't you?

Lem: (small voice) yes.

And I'm sorry, but if the bad guy calls for the Sharks to be mobilized, then I expect to see FRICKIN SHARKS WITH FRICKIN LASER BEAMS ATTACHED TO THEIR FRICKIN HEADS.. but noooo, they just had to be some dumb little submarine machine thingies. Disappointing, I must tell you Internet.

The ninjas were cool, though. In fact, the only thing cooler than ninjas fighting, is ninjas fighting amongst lots of cool mad scientist-looking electricity beams. Thumbs up for that sequence.

Oh and that guy? That whistling guy? He's from The Mummy. Yeah it was bugging the crap out of us for half the movie til I figured it out. You're welcome.

Del

Movie Review Week!

So last night I spent a little of my birthday money and bought an "unlimited week" pass from Blockbuster for $18. Sort of like Netflix -- I can rent 2 movies at a time, and have unlimited rentals for the entire week. Which basically means we're gonna be watching a lot of movies this week to get my $$'s worth!! I figured with the kids still off for winter break, I could cycle through movies and let them see some stuff I'm not interested in watching too.

Last night I rented "9" and the new Star Trek movie (the latter I had seen previously). "9" is a computer animated movie which revisits the tired theme of the earth after humanity destroys itself. Animation was decent, interesting concept.. A little predictable. Ok for kids. Overall not unhappy to have seen it but don't need to see it again. I do find it ironic that the man who did the voice work for the scientist (Alan Oppenheimer) is 3rd cousin to J. Robert Oppenheimer, who helped develop the first nuclear weapons.

The new Star Trek movie -- well I will unashamedly admit to being a diehard Trekkie so I was a little leery of this movie at first. I'm happy to say it was a very satisfying movie experience with lots of little Trekkie tidbits thrown in. You get to meet all the original ST cast when they are young, and see how their relationships developed. Some language, brief sensuality, but nothing that made me cringe or squirm overly with the kids watching it with us. Lots of funny parts, I laughed, I cried (yes, I really did), thumbs up. Oh, and young Spock is yummy. 'Nuff said.

Del