Delicia Sez: 2015

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Attitude Adjustment

It's that time of year again.. the time when the holidays loom and all the stores forget about Thanksgiving and dive right into Christmas music and decorations. BUY OUR STUFF! YOU NEED THIS!! It can be challenging not to become cynical, world-weary, and basically just want to toss the towel in and hide under your covers til January.

I am, by nature, not a thankful person. I don't know very many people who are. I am pessimistic, cynical, jaded, skeptical, complainy and generally a Negative Nancy. I know this about myself. I hate this about myself. When I notice I'm trending this way, I try to reign myself in and give myself a talking to. I try to set myself goals for that day, wherein I will say positive things to the people I interact with, and not complain about All The Things, and basically try to make their day better by having me in it. It's so much easier to slip into being negative and forget to be thankful, especially if you're running low on sleep which seems to be my way of life. Some days I succeed better than others.

The one area in which I don't have to try to be thankful is my friends. I am ALWAYS very thankful for the friends in my life, they put up with my whining and bitching and complaining and being the general worrywart that I know I always am. I try to remember to tell them frequently how important they are to me, how lucky I am to have them, and how my life is so much better, because they are in it. I probably don't say it enough, because no matter how much I say it, it will never be enough. I really try to be there for them, to provide support and a shoulder to cry on and hugs. Some days I succeed better than others.

This season instead of focusing on the typical holiday things, like financial worry, missing family, loneliness or the stress of it all, I think I'll focus on what's important. The people I care about, friends and family, and be thankful that I have them, be they near or far. And chocolate. Chocolate is really important too.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Deerfield Fair

Since Hurricane Wakeen (some people would say Joaquin, but let's be serious, you know you all want to spell it like it sounds) decided to not mess up the weather this far north this weekend, figured today was the perfect day to go to the Fair. And it was! (remember you can click on pictures to embiggen them)

We got there early afternoon, because mornings are disgusting and should be avoided at all cost. It was bright and sunny and warmish and lightly breezy --- perfect!

We first walked through all of the antique farming equipment, it was fascinating and at times puzzling as to what things were.

Just a smattering of the dohickeys they had out for you to check out

Then we saw this dinosaur, which loomed forward menacingly (though perhaps pushed by the wind) when Trevor went near it. I think it was trying to eat him.

T-Rex: I WILL EAT YOU! Trevor: No! Not in the face!

We then started hitting up the various buildings, so if you aren't interested in pictures of cute animals or fair foods, or miscellaneous stuff, you can be done reading this post, and know we saw lots of things, ate lots of things, and walked all over the place and had fun. Otherwise, keep reading/viewing!

At the Crafts building we talked to a couple ladies doing Rug Hooking, which is nothing like latchhook and was fascinating, and I took some pics of my favorite crafts:

BOWTIES RULE

aww kitties and pawprints!

I can't imagine who this made me think of... KRISTY

At the Flowers building, this pretty plant looked to me like it had butterflies for leaves:

We then sat for a little bit watching the end of the 3100lb and beginning of the 3300lb horse pulls. That's the weight of the horses, not the weight they were pulling. When we left they had gotten up to pulling 8,000 lbs.

Teams of 2 horses wait to be led over and hitched to the sledge loaded with weights

HI HORSES

Never seen a Horse Pull? It looks like this, and gets more dramatic the more weight gets added to the sledge when they try to get it to start moving:

Then we (I) decided we needed some hot fresh-made Apple Crisp we saw as we were on the way to the Horse Pulls. It was delicious.

The icecream made it just cool enough to eat. SO GOOD

We headed over to the animal buildings, and perused the Oxen first.

big. BIG. give me all the steaks.

Baby! This really looks like a dog from the back. He was so soft!

Still kinda looks like a dog from the front too.

It must suck not to be able to turn your head without wacking your horns on the wall. I bet vikings had this problem too. This is probably why vikings' wives yelled at them not to wear their hats in bed.

Then we hit up the Poultry Barn, SO MANY NEAT CHICKENS!!

where is its head??!!

Nope, still not seeing it

FLUFFY!

It's like a sheepdog..er..chicken.. sheepchicken?

It's easy to see how dinosaurs evolved into birds with this one:

DINOBIRD!

Looks like the offspring of a roadrunner and a chicken

love the pattern on the feathers

close up

The feathers around the neck were like a mane

Wut.

Dis my DERPY FACE

Still Derpy

Huh. I guess just naturally Derpy

Ok... Enough with the Chickens, I get it. On to..

SHEEP!

Like my dreds, mahn?

It was so soft and the curls.. LOVE THE CURLS

Weirdest Sheep Ever! Ok.. these are Alpacas

Ok enough with animals, more FOOD!

There were several Poutine vendors, but they were all stupid expensive so we didn't get any. $10 for a serving? I don't think so

Only in New England will something be labeled like this:

Mmm Fair fries with malt vinegar and ketchup, served in a paper.. dog bowl. Yes, even advertised as such. YOU WON'T SHAME ME, FAIR, I WILL STILL EAT THE FRIES

His Fried Dough topped with Chocolate Sauce and Powdered Sugar (left)
and my funnel cake with Cinnamon & Powdered Sugar (right)

We wandered over and watched the last bit of the 6-cylinder Demolition Derby, boy those cars were beat to hell, then found a short highwire act with the actual Flying Wallendas family. It was neat to see a piece of history, with the grandson of the original patriarch (now much older) with his daughter, son and daughter-in-law up there, but also a bit nerve-wracking because there was no net and it seemed really high and if one of them fell that would be a TERRIBLE ending to a great day (for us AND them, I'd imagine). They didn't fall and once they were safely on the ground we headed out for the day. Had a great time!

OMG DON'T FALL

Dad standing on a chair. As one does. If they are crazy.

And, of course, to go:

ALL THE COTTON CANDY

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Don't Cry

Don't cry, she tells you, as you stand waiting for her luggage at the airport. As she tells you through tears how much she hated coming back. How happy she had been far away. How she wanted to kill herself every day for the last year, and lied to you and the therapist about it. How she didn't want to tell you that she cried when she had to board the plane, for fear you'd think she didn't love you, and she can't stand how sad and worried you look every time you look at her.

Don't cry, she tells you, when you see the faint, faded lines on her arms that were angry red, fresh lines of carved pain when she left. You can't tell her it's from relief and realization, how you can see the proof of what needs to be done.

Don't cry, you tell yourself, when you realize you won't be the one to teach her to drive, or to see her get her first job. That she won't be there for you to take to get haircuts and crazy hair color. That you'll miss out on her last year of school. That she won't go with you to have kitchen utensil fights in the aisles of grocery stores, or buy silly impulse items that neither of you really need just for the fun of it.

Don't cry, you tell yourself, because you know this is the best thing for her, and all you ever wanted was for her to be happy.

Don't cry, you tell her, as she gets ready to walk through security at the airport. You don't have to feel guilty, you tell her, you're allowed to want to be happy. She deserves to be happy.

Don't cry, you tell yourself, she'll be somewhere where you don't have to worry every day whether she'll be okay by the time you get home, or worry about if she hates you, or feel guilty for being happy when she was so miserable. Though you will still worry.

Don't cry, you tell yourself, when you walk into the empty house, that now will no longer hold the sounds of a family.

Don't cry, as you try to tell yourself you're not a failure as a parent, because you've done everything you can to try to help her, including letting her go.

Don't cry, you tell yourself, or you might never stop.