Thursday, December 24, 2009

Even the Food is Fat

We all know that studies show Americans are in general getting fatter every year as a populace. What we didn't realize is the REAL cause: the FOOD is getting fatter!

In my work breakroom they put out a big container of Animal Crackers. I love animal crackers.. I remember when I was a young girl getting the little PT Barnum animal crackers that came in the box that looked like a circus wagon with little animals pictured in it, with the little string you could carry it with. Oh the fun of playing Make Believe with the animals it contained until you gleefully bit their heads off. The animal crackers supplied here are in fact an off brand.

Exhibit A:

Ok what the hell is this??! Is this a mutant sheep??

Exhibit B:

Clearly an attempt at an elephant.. or an alien, I can't really tell.

Exhibit C:

Obviously some kind of large cat species.. apparently female and nursing??

Exhibit D:

Mooooo! Looks like Bessie's been hitting the hay too much.

I can just picture some farm somewhere, where all the little cookie animals are in tiny little pens or those head-restraint thingies and force fed day and night until they are outrageously overweight, and then they are taken out back behind the woodshed and shot and shipped out. Don't believe me? Look at the photos again.. SEE THE BULLET HOLES??!!!

Is there a PETCA?

Oh the humanity..



  1. I not only remember the little circus wagon box they came in, complete with string, but the great taste. Just rmemeber, they're not animal cookies, it's "Animal Crackers". They don't put a ton of sugar in Animal Cookies....
    PS. The forced login that requires one of those "copy the following hard to read codes" to post this comment was "Asmate". Huh?

  2. bizarre. Yeah those Animal Crackers taste a heck of a lot better than these substandard fatty ones.