Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Horror!!!

As some of you may know, I like chocolate. A lot. In fact, I can safely say I'm a chocolate snob. Nay, even a connoisseur! (Which I'm pretty sure means "will eat just about any form of this food", yeah I just made that up).

Short detour: I like bananas. They are healthy. They taste great. They are fun to eat, and the little blue sticker on them fits perfectly on your nose. What I do NOT like about them is that they are trying to take over the world with their Banana Smell of Banananess!!! You know what I mean. Ever eat a banana in the car, and you stick the peel in your car trash bag (everyone has one of these, right?) or worse, just in the little middle console thing to throw away later? And then you come back later, and it has transmutated into this little brown/black pungeant banana-smell generator that's 20 times more potent smelling than the original banana. You can take it out of your car at this point and you'll still be smelling it for days.

Back to the point: I got a bunch of little yummy individually wrapped chocolates in my Christmas stocking from Santa. I have been slowly nibbling on them since then, taking some to work with me in my lunch bag (which is a plastic grocery bag, recycled into a snazzy lunch bag by virtue of me throwing my lunch food into it and taking it to work, hey.. I'm environmentally friendly! Shush you).

So I took a bunch, and stuck them in my bag, and stuck a banana in there for work. I did not, however, make the time to eat said banana, perchance I wasn't in a banana mood, or didn't have time on my luxurious 10-min lunch break. It stayed in the bag. With my chocolates. Do you see where this is going? I brought it back home and in my usual organized fashion, threw it on the little table by the front door. Where it sat for a few days. Until I remembered it, and wanted my chocolates.

I found the bag, pitched the slightly dismayed looking banana (it's brown pattern was frowning at me), and suspiciously smelled the wrapped chocolately goodness.. hmmmm... *seemed* ok...

Start playing on the computer, unwrap and dig into the first chocolate. GAAAAH!!!!!!!! Banana-flavored chocolate. My chocolates were TAINTED!!! CONTAMINATED! If I wanted chocolate-covered bananas I'd buy them specifically, this was so Wrong!

It's like.. when you usually drink pop (no NOT soda.. soda is something you mix into some kind of fancy drink that I think involves alcohol, so there), and you get a glass of milk, and you're busy doing something and you aren't paying attention and you take a drink and you were expecting pop and BLEAH it's milk and your whole digestive system is like WTF??

And the worst part was I had some PURE chocolates that were left in my stocking that I had just dumped in the bag when I retrieved it.. so they were now MINGLING with these evil banana-flavored chocolate buzz-killers. It was like playing chocolate russian roulette. Would I risk it? Would it be a chocolate banana bomb?!!

So I ate them anyway.


1 comment:

  1. I used to carry a banana in my lunch but by noon, my Fritos tasted very banana-ish so now I hand carry the banana separate from the lunch. Been there, done that..... Strange, I use plastic grocery bags for my lunch, too. One weird gene pool....